Reborn, Reawakened, Rekindled novel Chapter 671

Sometimes, I ask myself why I bother looking back. But Neil, with everything he's been doing recently, has shown me time and again that he's changed, that he's trying to make amends.

Seeing Neil's eyes, red and swollen, my heart felt heavy. I know many would call me foolish, accuse me of not being strong enough, but feelings are fluid, and hearts aren't always steadfast.

I'm not being irrational; I'm excessively pragmatic. That's why I know that Neil in this life shouldn't have to atone for his actions in my past life. Before he met Bonnie, he hadn't deceived me romantically. And after meeting her, he hadn't treated me with the same cruelty as he had in my past life. It was just me, judging him with the memories of a past life.

"I'm doing this for the kids," I found myself saying, opting for the simplest and most direct reason.

After all, it's not uncommon for couples to stay together for the sake of their children.

Neil was taken aback by my answer, silent for a moment before he spoke, "I don't deserve you turning back. If you and Russel are together, I'll bless your union. He'll treat you and the kids well. I'm at peace with that."

I hadn't expected Neil, after being unconscious for three days and dreaming of his past life's experiences, to become so liberatingly accepting, even genuinely wishing me and Russel well. This wasn't the begrudging tolerance of before, but a sincere contentment and relief.

But that's not the outcome I wanted!

"Neil, have you lost your mind?" My frustration flared. Couldn't he see what I was trying to do?

I had run from Rosemont to Eldoria, shamelessly asked Russel to play along, and stayed by Neil's bedside while he was unconscious, not to return to Rosemont alone once he woke up.

"I'm not crazy. But look at me now. I can't give you happiness. You can't spend the rest of your life with someone who's... less than whole," Neil said, eerily calm, trying to convince me to leave.

"I don't need you to make me happy. We've been together so long, and you've never made me happy, so I never expected you to start. Sometimes, happiness is something you create for yourself, not something someone else makes for you," I said, laying out my raw thoughts, "My biggest wish is for our children to have a complete family. You can at least be a good father."

Without the kids to sway Neil, he might have continued to wallow in his self-doubt.

Sure enough, mentioning the kids shook him.

"We're not in our twenties anymore, Neil. Back then, we were hot-headed, stubborn about love. Now, we should live well, not letting emotional entanglements hinder what we need in reality. My kids need a father, and I need closure for all these years of affection. I'm hoping for a good outcome."

I couldn't have been more straightforward. Neil sunk into thought, head bowed, his expression hidden. He probably needed time to think. I didn't rush him but said, "Take your time to think it over. I'll go check on the kids. Let me know when you've decided."

Waiting here was excruciating. Better to go back and spend time with Serena and Brandon.

Neil didn't stop me. As I left the room, I found Ryan and Faith waiting outside. They immediately asked about my talk with Neil.

I shook my head, "We just talked about the future. I'll give him some time to think."

I entered, eyeing his suitcase, "Where are you going?"

Russel smiled, "Got a call from an international friend. Decided to continue offering medical support abroad. I planned to settle here, but I guess it's not for me."

I knew why he was leaving, probably because of the wedding fiasco. I genuinely apologized, "Russel, about the wedding... Though we agreed it was fake, I know it affected you. I'm sorry, okay?"

"It's not your fault," Russel hurried to reassure me, "I thought I was over it, but the wedding showed me I wasn't. Staying would only complicate things for you and Neil, and unsettle me further. So, I'm choosing to leave, find some peace."

"Must you go abroad? Couldn't you find peace here?" I asked, perhaps out of guilt or at a loss for words.

Russel paused, then chuckled, "Are you trying to keep me here? Irene, you shouldn't be the one to ask that."

Ever since I'd made up my mind to be with Neil, I knew deep down that clinging onto Russel wasn't right. Yet, selfishly, the thought of losing him as a friend was unbearable, even though I was well aware that friendship was no longer an option for us.

I didn't say anything in response, just silently watched Russel pack up his belongings. Then, he turned to me and said, “My flight's this afternoon. I'll be heading to the airport soon. You guys can keep staying here in the apartment if you want. Though, I guess you'll probably move next door, huh? Either way, it's fine by me.”

Hearing those words just made the ache in my heart intensify.