My Love Until the Last Goodbye (Mary and Maximus) novel Chapter 1151

"But Matthew… He's still just a kid playing at being a father…

"And just because you became a father later in life doesn't mean you didn't make plenty of mistakes too. Remember?

"Let's be real, Maximus—why do you want him to stay here? You're not with him every day. You know he's at Moriarty's place. You call him, but that's it. And I'm not blaming you—Lucius isn't exactly an open book—but that's just who he is."

"So what should I do, then?"

"Let him go. I know it doesn't sound like the most reasonable idea—it might not be—but… Maximus, he's always been like this. He's never really been part of this whole thing. Let's be honest—just the fact that you and he have managed to keep the peace is a big deal. But that doesn't mean he has to stay here and watch everyone else live their perfect lives.

"He's looking for his own life. I don't think he knows if he wants it to be perfect—but I'm sure he wants it to be his."

"How do you know that?"

"Because I was the same. Think about it. I never talked about my family. I never had a partner. I settled for treating your kids like my grandkids. We've been through so much—but none of it was really mine. It was theirs. And with age, you accept that.

"You accept that time passed, life passed, and there's no going back. Maybe I didn't lose a wife, but I did let go of my life, my youth, my strength.

"I admire Theodore, honestly I do. He's only a few years younger than me. And look at him—he's a dad again. People might think that baby's his granddaughter, but he's happy with Fiona, Adam, and little Grace.

"You know something?"

"What?"

"I think Lucius will always be my karma…"

"Why?"

"He's my firstborn, right? But if you really think about it, life has always kept us apart. We've hardly ever been close. Honestly, we've never had a real father-son relationship. Even now, after we've patched things up, he still lives at Moriarty's.

"Before coming back to his family, he chose the Moriartys. And I don't blame him—I never made him feel at home. Watching him suffer in silence kills me. And even if everyone else thinks we're in a good place right now, I don't feel that way. It tears me apart to see that my son didn't get a happy ending. My son, still so young, is a widower. Yeah, I know he messed up a few things, but that doesn't mean he doesn't deserve to be happy…

"It hurts. And believe me, it's not something I can just brush off. I can live with it, sure. But… it hurts more than you could imagine."

"Oh, Maximus… Maybe you're right. Maybe Lucius really is your karma. Honestly, sometimes they say we don't pay for the mistakes we make—those who suffer are the ones we least expect. Maybe that's why you can't find peace.

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