Alpha alec's redemption (Sadie) novel Chapter 249

Nyx paces again, her claws clicking against the walls of my mind.

“You need to calm down,” she says. “Breathe.”

I try. I really do. But all I can think about is Alec’s mouth, his eyes, and his damn sexy body.

Damn him.

I push to my feet and start walking. I don’t know where I’m going, but I need to move.

“We need to get laid,” she mutters, her voice sulky and sharp.

I choke on a laugh. “Yeah, that’s not going to happen.”

“Why not?” Nyx demands. “It’s been months. Months, Sadie.”

I reach the riverbank, the water sparkling beneath the mid-morning sun. Without thinking, I slip off my shoes and socks, sit down, and dip my feet into the cool water.

“You know why,” I murmur. “Have you forgotten that we can’t sleep with anyone else? It won’t feel the same.”

Other males won’t be able to satisfy us and besides that, our bodies are designed in a way that will reject any man who isn’t our mate.

Nyx huffs, annoyed. “That’s not fair. It would have solved everything.”

It would, but I don’t say that. There is no need to say anything

A silence settles between us, the only sound the gentle rush of the river and the distant chirping of birds. I close my eyes and raise my head before breathing in the clean air. I don’t know why, but I usually find the air near a water source to be clean, fresh and calming.

For a minute, my mind stops wandering and I just focus on the moment of peace. I haven’t felt this kind of peace in a very long time. Maybe I should be coming here more often if I get to feel this way.

After a while, Nyx breaks the silence. “Would it really be so bad?”

I slowly open my eyes before staring down at the ripples around my ankles. “What?”

“Sleeping with Alec,” Nyx says, her voice softer now, more tentative. “Just this once. Just to... take the edge off.”

My entire body locks up. “Are you serious?”

Goddess, what the hell is she thinking and what has gotten into her? Why would she even consider such a thing?

“Because it’s not nothing!” The words burst from me. “Not when it’s Alec. Not when every time he touches me, I remember how much he hurt me. Not when I haven’t fully forgiven him. Not when I don’t even know what he feels or what he really wants. If I sleep with him now, I’ll lose myself.”

Being here and around him has made me realize that maybe I haven’t let go as I thought. Being entangled with Alec now won’t solve anything. It will only complicate things. I know myself and I know where Alec is concerned, I won’t be able to separate sex and feelings. I can’t afford to mix the two now. Not when there is still so much I’m yet to deal with.

Nyx goes silent, her presence a heavy weight in my mind.

I swallow hard, staring down at my reflection in the water.

“So, what are we going to do?” Nyx asks finally.

I pull my feet from the water, letting the droplets trickle down my legs.

“I don’t know,” I say. “But I’m going to figure something out.”

“You better,” she says softly, “Because I’ve never heard of a she-wolf who survived moon heat alone.”

The words send a chill down my spine. I don’t reply, but I hope I can figure it out; otherwise, I don’t know how we’ll survive tonight.