Alpha alec's redemption (Sadie) novel Chapter 245

I don’t say anything. Just turned back and continued staring at nothing.

I pretended that his presence wasn’t affecting me. Pretended that I was okay and that every fiber in my being wasn’t vibrating. I was fighting the pull despite Nyx telling me not to. I was used to fighting it since we learned that we were mates; it was hard not to.

When I couldn’t take it anymore—the pull, the desire, the silence—I turned to him. “I don’t get it, Alec. What do you want? Why are you here? Why are you trying? Don’t think I haven’t noticed.”

Before he could answer, I continued. “You already have Aspen’s devotion and love, so what is all this?”

I didn’t know if he got what I was referring to, but honestly, with the emotional turmoil inside me, I wasn’t in the mood to explain anything if he didn’t get it.

“I am grateful that I have her love and devotion, but Sadie,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion too. "Aspen is not the only one whose love I want. I want yours too.”

I stay quiet, not sure what to say. I wasn’t expecting him to be this open. Wasn’t expecting those words to come out of his mouth.

Emotions choke the living daylights out of me and for a moment I feel like crying.

My voice broke as I whispered, “Why now? You didn’t care when it mattered, Alec. So why now when I want nothing to do with you?”

I couldn’t fight the tears, so I furiously wiped them away, angry at myself for crying. It didn’t matter though, because I wiped them and more just fell.

My breath caught when I felt his gentle touch as he wiped away my tears. “I know how confusing this must be for you, but I can’t give you the answer you want right now. I can’t answer why now and not back then. I just can’t because I don’t know the answer to that.”

That just made me angry because it wasn’t the answer I was looking for. Don’t ask me what I expected to hear, but it wasn’t that. Feeling frustrated and hurt, I pushed his hand away and stood up.

“You know what hurts more, Alec?” I asked, my voice sounding thick to my own ears. “It’s that you didn’t see me then. You didn’t try to get to know me; you didn’t care. You just dismissed me without trying to see the real me… How then am I expected to believe that you want me now, when I wasn’t your type back then? When you wouldn’t even glance at me twice. How am I supposed to believe you feel something for me now when you didn’t, even though I was constantly in your face?